list of dos and don’ts for servers at the restaurant.

·         Do not let anyone enter the restaurant without a warm greeting.

·         Never refuse to seat three guests because a fourth has not yet arrived.

·         If a table is not ready within a reasonable length of time, offer something to read or any other facility you have in restaurant.

·         Tables should be level without anyone asking. Fix it before guests are seated.

·         Do not lead the witness with, “Bottled water or just tap?” Both are fine. Remain neutral.

·         No jokes, no flirting, no cuteness.

·         Do not interrupt a conversation. For any reason. Wait for the right moment.

·         Do not inject your personal favorites when explaining the specials.

·         Do not touch the rim of a water glass. Or any other glass.

·         Handle wine glasses by their stems and silverware by the handles.

·         When you ask, “How’s everything?” or “How was the meal?” listen to the answer and fix whatever is not right.

·         Never say “I don’t know” to any question without following with, “I’ll find out.”

·         If someone requests more sauce or gravy or cheese, bring a side dish of same. No pouring. Let them help themselves.

·         Do not take an empty plate from one guest while others are still eating the same course. Wait, wait, and wait.

·         Know before approaching a table who has ordered what. Do not ask, “Who’s having the shrimp?”

·         If someone is unsure about a wine choice, help him. That might mean sending someone else to the table or offering a taste or two.

·         Make sure the glasses are clean. Inspect them before placing them on the table.

·         Do not pop a champagne cork. Remove it quietly, gracefully. The less noise the better.

·         Never let the wine bottle touch the glass into which you are pouring. No one wants to drink the dust or dirt from the bottle.

·         Never remove a plate full of food without asking what went wrong. Obviously, something went wrong.

·         Never touch a customer. No excuses. Do not do it. Do not brush them, move them, wipe them or dust them.

·         Do not bang into chairs or tables when passing by.

·         Do not have a personal conversation with another server within earshot of customers.

·         Do not eat or drink in plain view of guests.

·         Never reek from perfume or cigarettes. People want to smell the food and beverage.

·         Do not drink alcohol on the job, even if invited by the guests. “Not when I’m on duty” will suffice.

·         Do not call a guy a “dude.”

·         Never say, “Good choice,” implying that other choices are bad.

·         Saying, “No problem” is a problem. It has a tone of insincerity or sarcasm. “My pleasure” or “You’re welcome” will do.     

·         Do not compliment a guest’s attire or hairdo or makeup. You are insulting someone else.

·         Do not discuss your own eating habits, be you vegan or lactose intolerant or diabetic.

·         Do not curse, no matter how young or hip the guests.

·         Never acknowledge any one guest over and above any other. All guests are equal.

·         Do not ask what someone is eating or drinking when they ask for more; remember or consult the order.

Answering the "What do you recommend" ??

I usually hear pretty good things coming back from the staff in response to these types of questions. If they don’t like the dish, the reason is usually something general like “I don’t like seafood” or “I don’t really eat meat.” I’ve never heard a waiter answer the question with “it’s terrible”, “I wouldn’t feed it to my dog”, or “it makes a great door stop.”  The general rule is to be as honest as possible. If you don’t like something personally, you can say that, but word it carefully. For example:

Customer: Do you like the XYZ salad?
Waiter: It’s not really the type of salad I’d order, but it is a popular item and I’ve never heard a customer complain about it.

That’s a common and effective response. Chances are, customers don’t complain about any particular dish too consistently (one would hope such dishes would be removed from the menu or fixed), so recommendations like that are typically pretty “safe.”

Another generally safe and effective approach is to suggest something else at the same time. 

For example:

Customer: What do you think of the XYZ salad?

Waiter: It’s quite good, but to be honest, the ABC salad is our popular salad and customers are always saying how great it is.

The point is to be honest while being careful. Customers want your opinion, but they also don’t want to get too discouraged or begin thinking they made a wrong choice. When providing your recommendations, advice, and opinions, let them know what you think and if what they’re thinking isn’t exactly what you think is best, gently tell them why and provide appropriate suggestions.